Tell Me Something I Don't Know

I was reading information from a website for one of the colleges where Macy is applying.  The Director of the Musical Theatre department had posted some good advice for auditioning that I thought might be helpful for Macy to know.  I started to read it out loud, "Macy, it says here that you really should choose one of the earlier audition dates, if possible."  Macy responded, "I know."  I read quietly for a few more minutes and then I added, "It says you should not move forward towards the auditors during the audition."  "Yes, I know." she said. Foolishly, I kept going, "It says not to use the auditors as active scene partners." "Yes, Mom, I know!"  Macy said (and I felt I was beginning to detect a "tone").  Undaunted, I pressed on because this was important stuff.  I said, "It says to stay on your mark on the stage during the audition and not to travel too far from that mark."  "Mom, I know!" (definitely a "tone" now!) And then, here it comes.... "Mom, no offense (which usually precedes something offensive), but everything you are reading to me right now is stuff that I have already read about 10 times! I know ALL of this stuff already!" Ever the calm and mature one, I'm pretty sure I responded with this gem, "Well, excuse me, Miss I-Have-Studied-The-Entire-Internet-And-There-Isn't-Anything- I-Don't-Know.....I was just trying to help!" 
This is the way many conversations with Macy have ended. I learned early-on that there is no arguing with her. There is no trying to inform her of anything because she knows everything already. Yet this particular time, there was something so maddening, so frustrating, so irritating and yet so.......FAMILIAR about this!  And then it hit me that right there, staring me in the face, was my own reflection. I was the tree from which this apple closely fell! I was reminded of the popular saying, "Those who think they know everything are very annoying to those of us who actually do."
I have always hated being told something that I already know. I notice this the most when I travel.  I enjoy showing up at the security checkpoint and as I begin my well-practiced routine of placing my laptop in a bin (by itself) and removing my shoes, packaging my liquids in the quart-sized ziplock bag, don't you dare come and tell me what to do.  I KNOW what to do and how to do it and if you come over here and tell me in front of all of these rookie travelers, then THEY will think that I am one of THEM! I would much prefer to breeze through security and have everyone take notice of how well-prepared and skilled I am at traversing any airport in the United States.  The same holds true after we get on the plane.  Don't tell me how to store my carry-ons or that the baby's car seat has to be in the window seat or that when my baby cries as the plane descends that it might be his ears.  I know all of this and I am not about to give you credit for the knowledge I have gained through years of experience (Just to be clear....I don't have a baby anymore but I'm still holding on to some deep resentments from 18 years ago!)
Well, as it goes with most issues of pride and arrogance, it is pretty much Biblically guaranteed that it will be followed by a most embarrassing and humbling failure. (I'm alluding to the Proverb which states that "Pride goeth before a fall" - in case you didn't know that.  And if you did know that, you see how it feels to not be given any credit whatsoever for your knowledge? Doesn't feel so great, does it?) Anyway, I'm reminded of the time my arrogance reached a level that could have only been described as obnoxious. I was traveling to Mexico with a traveling companion who hadn't traveled nearly as much as I had.  I proudly showed off demonstrated my travel skills from the time we checked our bags curb-side to the short and efficient amount of time we spent navigating through security. Any little bit of turbulence we encountered was followed by my reassuring words that this ALWAYS happens and he shouldn't be concerned.  So, of course, when it was time to fill out the customs declarations forms, I proudly offered to fill them out for both of us, since I had prepared those forms MILLIONS of times before on ALL of my International flights. I grabbed the form and completed that sucker as if it were a timed test and I wanted to be the kid who turned it in first.  Nevermind that I didn't have my glasses on.  I could do those forms in my sleep. As we got off the plane, I guided my inexperienced travel partner to the customs desk and we were quickly ushered to the uniformed customs officer who would process our forms.  I stood before him beaming with pride, almost positive that he had most likely never before seen the forms filled out so neatly and accurately in his entire life.  As he began to look over our forms, he got a funny look on his face and he looked up at me and asked, "You are bringing ALL of these things into Mexico?" He showed me the form I had filled out and sure enough, I had answered YES to EVERY question on the form.  "Fruit? Vegetables? Plants? Seeds? Insects?" Yep - I've got 'em. "Meat, Animal and Wildlife Products?"  Yep - I've got those too. "Disease Agents? Cell Cultures? Snails?" Yep - right here in my bag! "Soil from a farm pasture?" Absolutely, doesn't everyone? "Have you recently handled livestock?" Of course I have (that's why I was in the pasture, Duh!)! "Are you carrying over $10,000 in cash?" Shhhh......don't tell anyone, but YES! "Do you have any commercial merchandise you plan to sell?"  Well..just the snails? I felt the color rushing to my cheeks and I stumbled around for an explanation that may or may not have involved blaming the Europeans for designing a form that had the "No"  column on the wrong side of the page! To make it even worse, my traveling partner who should have been having a good laugh at my expense by now, was smiling and supportive and annoyingly demonstrating that he is a much better person than I am. We managed to talk our way into that lovely country and have a wonderful trip, but I remain forever humbled by the entire experience.
This brings me back to dealing with Macy.  I get her.  I understand her constant need to reply with, "I know". You see, any knowledge that we gain through our own years of experience or from the endless hours of research we have done is hard-earned and sacred.  My experience in traveling with four young children was something it took years to establish. Macy's research on proper audition techniques is something she had spent hours and hours compiling. So, naturally, when someone comes around and starts freely handing out that same knowledge to anyone in the room, it IS frustrating.  We feel it negates our efforts and somehow we end up not getting credit for the things we do know.
I suppose the lesson here is in learning to master the art of accepting instruction and advice graciously. We need to step back and be aware of what the giver of the information needs.  The giving of knowledge or advice is an empowering act.  It makes the giver feel important and draws them into our experiences. If we immediately cut the giver off with an, "I know", it's like robbing them of something they need. For me, I needed to feel like I was helping Macy with her college application process even though it was obvious that she really didn't need my help at all. I guess what I would like to say to my kids is to throw Mom a bone every now and then.  Let me have my little victories and let me feel like I'm a part of your experiences and successes. Carry this on into other facets of your life. Remain open to learning new things and don't hide your vulnerabilities under a know-it-all facade.  I vow to be better about this myself so that I can continue to learn and possibly avoid future embarrassing situations. But, just in case this is a hard thing for me to do, let's go with the whole "do as I say and not as I do" thing for now.   Hopefully you will learn from my mistakes and heed my advice and maybe someday this will even help to keep you out of Mexican airport jail!