Anyone who has ever tried to awaken a sleeping five year old will understand the sense of trepidation I felt as I approached my daughter’s bed. Seeing her sleeping there so soundly, I was first amazed at the very sight of her, and then filled with pride and amazement that I could have possibly given birth to something so perfect and angelic. Even so, I was keenly aware that one never really knows what you will get when you awaken a small child, until the first words, or moans as they are, come out of her mouth. Their very tone hints at how the rest of your morning will go. I have tried everything to get her to wake up on her own, to somehow relieve myself of the blame and resentment that will likely be showered down upon me if I am the first thing she sees when she opens her eyes. I have opened and closed doors rather aggressively, turned lights off and on, rearranged covers and moved things on her nightstand, all to no avail. I have waited until the last possible moment to wake her, without putting us into a situation that will undoubtedly make us rushed and late for her preschool. “Chloe...Sweetheart... It’s time to get up,” I said to her in the sweetest and gentlest voice that I could muster. She looked so cozy and content that I hated to disturb her. I nuzzled up to her neck and started rubbing her back, anything I could think of to wake her up in a gentle way, which usually leads to a more pleasant experience once her eyes do open. This particular morning, I was in luck. She rolled over and with no thought to the fact that she could use a breath mint, got right in my face and began to negotiate. “I’ll get up,” she offered, “IF you carry me.” “Why do I have to carry you?” I asked her while I considered that her conditions could be worse and I might be inclined to carry her if it would help our morning run smoothly. “Because, I am the Princess,” she said, like it was the obvious answer and I should have known that without asking.
She moved through breakfast with an unusual amount of cooperation and grace and I was pleased. I set her clothes out for her and I was immediately met with our first problem of the day. “I can’t wear that today,” she said. “Why not?” I innocently asked her since I felt like I had followed all of her well-known rules of fashion and fabulous-ness in the cute little number that I had picked out for her. “Today is Valentine’s Day and I need to wear something red.” Well, of course it is, and of course you do. Chloe was in the unfortunate position of being my fourth child and my third girl. Those first three children of mine would have had red outfits to wear on Valentine’s Day. Their outfits would have been shopped for and purchased months in advance in anticipation of the holiday, and there would have been hairbows and necklaces and cute little favors for their classmates. When did I stop thinking all of that was fun? I was able to reevaluate the outfit for the day and was able to come up with something cute, and red, and it passed inspection as the perfect outfit for Valentine’s Day. In a moment of sheer brilliance, or so I thought, I remembered seeing a brand new pair of shiny red clogs in the shoe bag that we pass back and forth from her dad’s house to my house. Chloe’s stepmom had purchased these, no doubt in anticipation of the holiday (you see, she only has one child so this idea was still fun to her), and they just might save the day and be the perfect accessory for our chosen red outfit. I retrieved the shoes and presented them to Chloe with a triumphant look on my face, as if it had been my plan all along for her to show up in shiny new red shoes for Valentine’s Day. Chloe took one look at the shoes and she said, “I can’t wear those.” And, once again, I ignorantly ask, “Why not?” And Chloe responds in an increasingly less patient voice, “Because I can’t run in those.” Well, of course. How could I have not realized that? You see the highlight of my daughter’s day was recess. And recess meant that there were boys that were gonna need chasin’ and boys that were gonna need runnin’ from – and those shiny red shoes would have relegated her to spectator status in an activity that she longed to be a part of. We found a suitable substitute for the shoes and we were left with just her hair to contend with.
As I was struggling to get her to sit still for that ordeal, I reminded her again that we needed to hurry or we would be late. Being the fourth child, Chloe is also the last one to leave for school in the mornings. Unfortunately, that often meant that she bore the brunt of the cumulative effects of any stress or lateness that resulted from my trying to get the other three out the door. Sometimes, through no fault of her own, she is forced to make up for their shortcomings. However, even though I was rushing her and doing everything that I normally would do that would push her over the edge, she remained calm. Finally, she just looked at me and said, “Mommy, Relax, I am the line leader at school today and no one is going anywhere until I get there.”
As I was driving home after dropping her off at her school, I was struck by the lessons that my five year old daughter taught me that morning. These are lessons that are so simple, but worth considering in my own life.
Lesson #1 - Always wake up feeling like a Princess
While we may not be fortunate enough to be born into royalty, no one says that you can’t just wake up and declare yourself a princess. Carry yourself with dignity and grace and expect people to treat you with dignity and grace…and there you have it…you’re a princess. You can even throw on a tiara for the day and really live it up. The bottom line is just to believe that you are worthy of a little special treatment. Treat yourself well, and expect to be treated well by others.
Lesson #2 – Wear a Festive Outfit
From now on, I vow to dress the part. I am not sure when I stopped doing this. We all have our little outfits that we wore as children to Christmas parties or Valentine parties, but somewhere along the way, we quit dressing in fun clothes and became slaves to fashion or comfort. From now on, I will wear red on Valentine’s Day and orange on Halloween and green and red on Christmas. I will wear my team’s colors to all football games and baseball games, even if I have a really great outfit that would look so much cuter on me than the Hunter green t-shirt that I will wear to support my team (Go Mustangs!).
Lesson #3 – Relax and realize that the party won’t start till you arrive
How many times do we rush and stress about getting somewhere on time, only to find that we didn’t miss anything? How much better would it be to just slow down and take the attitude that no one is going to have any fun until we arrive anyway? I have two best friends and we always have a good time together. When just two of us are together, we have fun, but not as much as we have when we are all three together. For those close friendships, the ones that matter, rest assured that your presence is missed and the real fun starts after you arrive.
Lesson #4 – Wear Shoes You Can Run In
This lesson is so simple and makes so much sense, but once again I have fallen victim to fashion dictates and I can’t even imagine attempting a slow jog in some of the shoes that I wear. How many times in life have I not danced, or not taken the stairs, or not hiked a trail I’ve come upon…all because I was wearing the wrong shoes? Most importantly, I am a single woman, and as such, I am bound to encounter men along the way that are gonna need chasin’ and some that are gonna need runnin’ from, and I need to be prepared. From now on, when my girlfriends stop by to show off their latest pair of 4-inch-heeled Jimmy Choos, I will admire them briefly, and then reply, “Sure...They are super-cute, but can you run in those?”
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