Doc in a Box

We had our annual school carnival Saturday and all of us were looking forward to spending the whole afternoon there.  As fate would have it, Chloe got hurt in one of the bounce houses in the first 30 minutes. It looked like her wrist might be broken and she was inconsolable.  I'm going to go ahead and preface this story by saying that I don't handle things like this well at all.  My older three kids rarely ever get hurt.  It helps that those three choose to be involved in very low-risk activities.  Musical Theatre and Show Choir are not known for being inherently dangerous.  Despite the complicated dance routines, very few students ever step-ball-change their way into Arlington Memorial's emergency room.  But then there is Chloe. She is fearless and boisterous and athletic.....and she gets hurt.  We nicknamed her Coco, not because it is short for Chloe, but because it is the Spanish slang for boo-boo.  And Coco gets plenty of boo-boos.


Mike and I took Chloe home and propped her arm up on some pillows and iced it down.  She alternated between being calm and settled one minute, and then an emotional ball of mush the next.  She had a major meltdown at one point when she realized her injury might prevent her from attending a friend's birthday party at the roller-skating rink the next day. We finally determined that we should get it x-rayed and began to discuss where to go.  Mike suggested Care Now, his Urgent Care Facility of choice.  I mentioned another place that I had frequented occasionally and I decided we should take Chloe there.  It was off the beaten path and a little bit of a drive from our house, but I remembered that it had been fine for getting school check-ups and there was never a wait.  I made the final call and we loaded Chloe up and headed out to the clinic I had chosen.  On the way, Mike tried to explain to Chloe what was going to happen and how they might have to manipulate her arm to get the x-ray and that it might hurt a bit.  I quickly changed the subject and gave him a "look" (since kicking him under a table wasn't an option while he was driving) to stop with the scary talk, lest she completely break down before we even get there.


We walked into the clinic of my choosing and it was clean and nice and, just as I had so wisely predicted, there was no one else waiting to be seen.  At this point, I was feeling a little smug and extremely proud of my choice, as I thought of all the suckers who must have been waiting for hours at Care Now, while I walked right up to the counter of my little hidden gem of a clinic. I gave Mike a little "told you so" glance and confidently walked up to the counter to check in. I moved the tacky little vase with the plastic flowers to one side and searched in my purse for a pen to use to sign in. When the lady working the front desk took my forms, I accidentally handed her my pen.  When I realized this, I said, "Oh wait, that's MY pen!"  Then,  I added (just to point out the clinics' shortcomings so that they might be able to improve their customer service in the future), "There were NO pens sitting out for me to use."  Without even looking up, she pointed to the little vase that I had pushed aside and then to the sign on the counter that clearly  read, "THE FLOWERS ARE THE PENS."  Well, of course they are!  They got tired of people walking away with their pens, so they chose to tape a big fake yellow flower on the end of  each one and arrange them in a clear vase filled with green marbles.  It was an ingenious plan really.  I had no desire to even touch one of the blossom-enhanced writing utensils, much less sneak one into my purse to take home.


When Chloe's name was called, we all made our way back into the patient area of the clinic. We were greeted by the front desk lady, whose job description obviously read Receptionist / NURSE.  Now that she was standing up, it was surprisingly evident that she was about 6 feet tall.  She was quite an imposing figure, rather gruff and downright scary.  Add to this the fact that she was already ticked at me for my little pen comment, and we had the makings of a really great experience for all of us.  She examined Chloe and then announced to us that the Doctor would be in shortly to look at Chloe's arm, while she would go and get the x-ray room ready. Then, she looked at me and asked, "Does she know that I am going to have to move her arm like this.....and like this .......and like this........and it's probably going to hurt?"  Well, I guess she knows NOW!  Chloe's eyes got so big and the tears started to flow and I looked over at Mike and suddenly HE had the "told you so" look and he said, "And you were worried about ME scaring her?  I'm thinking if you had let me finish, I could have broken that news to Chloe a little more delicately."  And then I'm pretty sure I heard him whisper under his breath, "I'm SO glad it wasn't MY idea to come here."


The Doctor finally came in and he was as laid-back as the nurse was scary.  He was an older gentleman, a little plump, and he walked with more of a casual shuffle than with the confident and determined gait you would expect to see in your trusted health care provider. (The old man character played by Tim Conway in the Carol Burnett show came to mind). He looked at Chloe's arm and announced, "Well, we hope it's not broken, but it very well could be!"  My attitude was quite sour by now and I had to bite my tongue to keep from saying, "Yep, that's pretty much why we're here, Captain Obvious!  Oh, sorry...DOCTOR Obvious!"  He left the room and McScary came back in to get Chloe for the x-ray.  She wouldn't let me go to the x-ray room with them because she said, "It's a real tiny room and you probably won't fit in there with us."  Seriously? Whatever! Surprisingly, the x-ray experience was pretty painless and Chloe came back to the room in good spirits.


After a few minutes, McObvious came back into the room and announced that Chloe's wrist was officially NOT broken.  He put the image up and started to show us how good it all looked and I was thinking, "Of course it looks good, that's the WRONG ARM!"  Turned out he had taken an x-ray of both arms for comparison.  We eventually did view the correct x-ray and it all looked good. So, McObvious announced that it must just be a sprain and then he started to walk shuffle away.  I expected a little more guidance or some closure at this point so I called out to him, "Is there anything we should do for it?"  He stopped and thought for a minute and then said, "Well, maybe you could immobilize it in a brace or something?"  I wondered if he was telling me or asking me at this point.  He started to walk shuffle away again and Mike, who was also not feeling like we had quite gotten our money's-worth yet,  suggests, "How about some ice on it?"  The doctor thought for a minute and then shrugged and agreed that ice might be a good idea.  McObvious started to walk shuffle away again, only to be stopped again by Mike asking the million dollar question, "So, what about activity?  She has a party tomorrow and she wants to go roller skating. What do you think?"  McObvious answered, "Well, I think that would just be asking for it."  McScary chimed in, "Unless she's just a REALLY good skater."